Fantastic Beasts EXCLUSIVE Trailer Analysis

Warning: this post is almost certainly a gigantic waste of your time.

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Is it just me, or did they build this castle in the least accessible place possible? Like, how did the wizard kids get there back in 1388, before there were magic trains?

This is the exact same shot that opened the previous trailer, except I think the colour grading is different. 

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Eddie Redmayne showing off his secret talent, which is looking like a sixteen year old boy from a distance. I'm sure the design of these robes is highly interesting to the sorts of people who fill out wikis, and I'm just as sure that I don't care.

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Half of Jude Law's dialogue is in this weird quasi-Irish accent like he's trying to mimic Micheal Gambon, and for the other half he just sounds English. It's very strange.

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Holding onto Johnny Depp is still a bad idea, but they've tweaked Grindelwald's character design so that he no longer looks utterly ridiculous, mostly due to the hair. And this time you can actually understand what he's saying!

Still don't know what's up with the white eye though, unless he's become a villain from a shounen manga.

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I'm finding it increasingly difficult to believe that the wizards would be able to keep all of this shit a secret.

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This is the face I make when I look at JK Rowling's twitter feed.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I'm only halfway through the trailer, but there actually isn't anything really interesting or lulz-worthy in the rest of it, soooooo

Look, I tried to warn you.